Saturday, April 28, 2012

Peeking out from behind the clouds...

I'm sure you've had one or two of those time-warps in life where everything just seems adrift, and funky and you just can't get a break....  and you are constantly asking yourself....WHEN will all this END!?!?!? 

My sewing "room\space\pile" has been moved around the household so many times in the past 9 months or so that I've lost count. Often times, I even forgot that I had one.   No matter where I tried to re-create my "space", I just couldn't seem to really "settle" anywhere. All of my beautiful "things" have been packed, unpacked, piled high, sorted through, moved around, donated, sold off and re-evaluated.  I've made decisions on what to keep, what's really important and am finally starting to feel.....a very new kind of NORMAL. At least for me. :-) Might I add, with a very different perspective on many, MANY things.

We make adjustments throughout our life for family, friends and loved ones.  Most often I've found that whatever plan we set out to accomplish, isn't even remotely close to the outcome.  In the end, you reflect.   You fit puzzle pieces together and slowly find out, as you continue to breathe in and out, that EVERYTHING.....happens for a reason.   We make these adjustments and decisions out of love, commitment, responsibility, guilt, sympathy and soooo many other facets. The number of different emotions that drive our decision making processes from day to day is absolutely STAGGERING.   But in the end....if you always move forward with integrity and WILL find the silver lining and will live without regret.

But what about those unexplainable moments in life where decisions and thoughts just flow so easily....there's a peaceful calm that just takes over.  Surprising where the roads lead during these times. Where you literally walk through life....on faith....and faith alone.  Every day is a new day.

Our family has suffered more "LOSS", "DISAPPOINTMENT", "SADNESS", "FEAR" and "DOUBT" in this past 9 months - I can't even begin to describe.  As the dust begins to settle, I have never been more certain that our beautiful and rare.   Together, we can weather ANY storm. We learn from the lessons we've lived, we open our minds to new perspectives and move forward.  Always loving, always forgiving....unconditionally.

So while my "Quilting Revolution" Blog is my little space in the world to dedicate to my creative side and my passion for Quilting, the Arts, Embroidery, Books, Thread...WHATEVER strikes my fancy..... I wanted to dedicate one small post as a reminder that I will never EVER lose sight of the fact that no matter FAMILY will always come first. And I will never be sorry for that.  As I sat, in that hospice room, watching my father; a beautiful, kind, generous man, drift away peacefully.  It was then, that all of the questions & answers to life made sense.  I never really knew this man until the end.  I spent my life dazed and confused as to why people could hurt me so deeply when all I wanted to do was love them, help them.  ALL of the roads in my life came together purposefully, on that single day, to ensure that I experienced that journey with him.  I will live my life forever grateful....for that gift.   RIP Dad - I love you.  It warms my heart, that after ALL you have been through, that you passed away knowing how deeply you were loved, even if it was only for a little while. 

  So as the rough waves start to settle, and I start finding those moments to explore my creative side again....put the finishing touches on my NEW sewing studio, start planning quilts again, and find myself picking up magazines and books and patterns and feel the pleasure of petting my beautiful fabric prickle my skin once again...  I will never forget how important it is to take time out for the ones that we love - in fact I don't think I will ever struggle to set down whatever latest obsession\desire I've thrust myself into, to wrap my arms around my children, my mother, my friends and extended family and remind them how much they are loved.  In your final days......nothing else matters other than reflection of how you have affected others.  Remember that old saying..."People will often forget what you said....but they will never forget how you made them feel."    Your home, your cars, your quilts, where you vacation, your perfectly landscaped lawn and garden, what you made for dinner......none of it matters.   If you see someone in pain....reach out.   Hug them, assure them that there is still good in this world. There are some that never get the opportunity to have their faith in mankind restored.

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