Even our BLOGS change! If you are a blogger - you know exactly what I mean. Remember your first few posts? Remember all the aggrivation of setting it up, figuring out all the little widgets and links and stuff that everyone else seemed to already know? Where to put it, how does this work, how does that work...how do I promote it? ....Now WHAT in the world do I blog about??
Once upon a time I started a blog... I started it because I was working at my dream job. Surrounded by creative minds, eager to learn, eager to CREATE, eager to share and be proud of their accomplishments. They came to me with thier quilting problems, computer problems, sewing machine issues. So many would wander in with worry in their eyes, and the feeling of failure because something wasn't coming out the way they envisioned it. They read our newsletter every week to see what was going on in our little corner of the world. They came to our embroidery club to be wowed by the creations we'd find on the internet. They took our classes to get the support they needed to conquer their fears...
Then - one day, the dream was gone. It ended as quickly as it started, and I felt lost. I tried to get it back, some way, some how....but I didn't have the tools, the support, or the startup funds to do it. I was heartbroken. The last class I was teaching there was a "Beginning Quilting Class". I had 7 or 8 students that were scared, and nervous but wanted SO badly to try and make their beautiful quilts and overcome their fears. They wanted so badly to have a legacy to leave behind some day, or bond with other people that would inspire them, instead of bringing them down. One of my students was even a family member that swore that she would NEVER touch a sewing machine. I remember how proud I was when she couldn't help but smile when she realized she was actually really good at it. I have no idea if she ever continued to perfect her talent. I have no idea how any of those women are doing anymore....
Eventually, as time went on, I got sick of being sad....I picked myself up by my bootstraps....deleted the painful memories off of my blog, and slowly crept back out. When life gives you a gut punch to the stomach you have two choices....curl up in a ball and wallow in the things you can not control....or stand up. Put one foot in front of the other, keep breathing in and out, love and cherish the people in your life......and eventually - time will heal, it will get easier, things will change. You will smile and enjoy the world around you again. All you can do - is go with the flow. Sometimes it takes a while. But if you hang in there, and believe in your heart that time heals all wounds.....you'll be ok...
I try to stay away from news sites and papers....it's so depressing. Sometimes you can't help it - even Social Media can bring all the sorrows of the world right into your view. Facebook - that's how I heard the news. All of the sweet angels that are gone in Conneticut and the teachers that loved them... Those families, that community, I know it's hard to see now....but it will get easier. Take time to grieve and accept what has happened....but life CAN go on. Our purpose...is to survive...EVERYTHING that life hands us.....and keep on the journey....
More CHANGE is coming in my life. I thought I knew exactly what I was doing, and where I was going. No such luck. But the heartbreaks and hurts that I've experienced in my life have started to make me realize, that something will always change. When you least expect it. There is more pain and hurt on your journey. Don't fool yourself into thinking that life is perfect and you've got it all figured out. You don't. When it comes...take a deep breath...put one foot in front of the other, and keep on...keeping on. This too shall pass....
Who knows where the next turn in the road will bring you.....take the plunge...hold your head high and stop looking behind you......always forward.
"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the things you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."....Mark Twain. Love you Jan! Here's to setting sail.
ReplyDeleteI know you are holding on to those sails no matter how hard the wind blows and no matter how cold the water is that splashes upon your face.
ReplyDeleteLove yah
:-) Here's one more piece of advice from the heart... LOVE all of your besties as deeply as you can. Cherish them and tell them often how much they mean to you. Because in moments of need...you don't have to hear them, see them or touch them to feel their arms wrapped around you when you need it the most. I LOVE you guys....from the bottom of my heart. :-)
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